I used to have this theory about John Mayer and why he says the things he says. I don't follow his music or career, yet almost as soon as I heard about him, he was going on about pornography and masturbating -- neither of which is as rare as California condors mind you. Still, most people have heard at least one horror story of sexual or pornographic addiction destroying a marriage. At the very least, I would have thought Mayer would not advertise these particular hobbies if he wanted to make any headway with the ladies unless he was an idiot. But of course, tall, dark, handsome, and rockstar, probably seals the deal even when it is known there is sawdust in the transmission.
I put myself in his shoes. If I could say whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and girls just thought (or acted as if) it was cute and still revered me; and it helped me wrap Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston around my little finger -- or my little whatever -- I would feel more potent than the atom bomb. While I may not have attained Charlie "The Machine" Sheen and Wilt "The Big Dipper" Chamberlain status, I am sure I would still feel invincible. I would step into the ring with "Punchout" era Iron Mike and not doubt, ne'er even for a moment, I would be victorious. And by all means, I would continue vocalizing any crass or crude thoughts that found their way to my lips.
While I am neither tall, dark, nor handsome, nor a rockstar, nor rich and famous, and definitely not in his shoes, I didn't think John Mayer and I were so different that he would react much differently than I had I been. Surely all the preferential treatment and panty dropping had an effect on his ego and he felt somewhat unstoppable too. How could it not and he acted that way at least. He carried on uninhibited, speaking cavalierly for quite some time and the bodycount only got higher. Well, this last month the unstoppable force finally met an immovable object: the "n" word.
Nobody survives unscathed from that encounter and most never really recover. The chances are probably as slim as me actually stepping in the ring with Tyson and the repercussions are just as ugly. It is the most counterproductive PR move anyone could consider, so I was extremely surprised to hear John Mayer took it for a test drive. I Googled "John Mayer" and came up with a healthy list of articles describing what he said, what other nobodies, celebrities, and wannabe celebrities said in response, and his emotional on stage apology. The headlines and captions were vague but very incriminating. I wanted to see exactly what Mayer said, however, and dug through all the commentary to find the actual interview transcripts. When I did finally read the interview and his exact words, I was disappointed. They definitely did not live up to all the hype and pretense.
One blogger, EbenGregory, for instance, said "John Mayer Tells Playboy He Has 'A Nigger Pass'". That is not at all what he said, but what he really said does not matter. And only part of the context matters -- that part being whether or not he was black or white when he was talking. People are distorting, misconstruing, and completely misquoting him because they react before they have even fully read everything he said. In his own words he explained the interview that caused so much controversy: "Re: Using the 'N word' in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it's a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was the exact opposite spirit of the word itself." I won't even bother dissecting and analyzing what he said in the interview because it is so obvious what he was trying to say.
I actually never liked John Mayer until he had this run in with the n word. Admittedly, I have only heard his songs that are on the radio and can only think of two altogether at this moment, but I did not like them. Those songs and his masturbation and pornography statements made me pretty much think he was a douche. After this recent press, though, I read through some old interviews with him to better understand him and indeed gained more of an appreciation for who he is in the process. I learned that my theory about him was ill conceived. He is not just some cocky dude who plays crappy music, says dumb things, chicks love it, and so he keeps talking nonsense. That was an unfair assessment on my part.
First of all, he does not really like his song "Body is a Wonderland". That is a big one for me. Actually, to be a bit more clear, he may like it, but it is not the kind of music he wants to be known for and not the music he wants to make. He wants to be known for the blues -- not mom rock. Second, he may be cocky, but that is not the reason he says whatever he wants. He says it because he is being open and honest. He is a rare bird these days. Some people once criticized him for going too far and being too raw in an old Rolling Stone interview. He responded to the critics by tweeting: "I say 'f--- it.' you can't go wrong if you tell the truth."
I agree. In general, you may offend some people by being brutally honest, but at least you have aired your dirty laundry and pulled any skeletons out of the closet before anyone else does. Being forthright can also get you in big trouble these days depending on the subject matter. Sure, Mayer could have made a safer choice of words in trying to make a point about race in America. Then he could have not followed up his daring word stunt with an extremely bad dick joke. But if you check the record, he did not say anything derogatory and he is consistent. He has been making bold statements and trying to be funny in interviews and even on stage attempting stand up comedy for years.
He is not the first to learn, however, that some people are not allowed to make any bad jokes. You can talk for hours and even years, and one bad joke or one poor choice of words -- one drop in the overall ocean you have already thus spoken -- makes you and everything you ever said suddenly 100% evil. That is preposterous in and of itself but it is even more ridiculous and absurd when a double standard is applied. If a black man calls a woman a "ho" or a black man a "nigger", we give high fives and talk about how cool it is (or would be) to be G. It does not bother us if black people say it -- at least not enough to make the news. Why is that the case? John Mayer answered that question in another old Rolling Stone interview. He said he was tired of being expected to apologize for his unguarded comments. "Everybody right now in the world of entertainment is a pussy. A pussy," he said drawing out that last word. "They're all so sensitive. What the fuck happened?"
He was on to something. We should be asking the question: when and to what degree should we be so sensitive? By being so politically correct all the time, we are basically throwing egg shells in front of everybody's feet. How do we expect to not be offended so easily if this is the environment we have created? His conclusion after this most recent melee was telling but not as accurate as his previous conclusion. Continuing in his explanation of his n word comment, he explained, "It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualise using it [the n word], because I realise there's no intellectualising a word that is so emotionally charged."
He is correct that there is no intellectualizing that word, but he is incorrect in assuming the word is to blame because it is charged. There is no such thing as a charged word; they have only the power people give them. We, the people, on the other hand, can be very charged, can be very sensitive, and we have been conditioned to be that way. We are victims of a calculated effort by those who purposely attempt to attach emotional and psychological anchors to words to serve political and financial purposes (one and the same really). It is much easier to control the masses through emotion than reason. Once the hook is set, it is almost too easy: someone says a word and the button is pushed -- we are under the mind control. We react in reflexes and conditioned responses. Not only did Mayer forget he was not black, but he also forgot he was talking to the mindless masses.
--If a half truth is the same as lying, what is a zero truth (something we refuse to even bring up)?
