Bauer Up!

Bauer Up!

I want to invent a new saying and I hope it catches on. Jack Bauer is the protagonist of the Fox Television series 24. Bauer embodies everything "man" as well as everything a man should be. He is smart, decisive and logical. And just to be politically correct, women should be more like him as well. Let me try to explain...

At this time in our existence, we need to realize that evil follows us where ever we go and will eventually catch up to us. There are people in the world that play a dangerous game that does not have rules. Mister rag-head FÜkka Ina Daheed knows how to play our system. We make it very easy for him by passing laws and legislation that binds our hands when investigating terrorist activity. He knows we will read him his Miranda Rights. He knows our justice system will provide him with a free bleeding heart attorney sympathetic to Islamic extremists.

Jack Bauer does not put a terrorist in a chair and hand him an ice cold cola. He doesn't play good cop nor does he empathize with groups associated with killing innocent men, women and children. Jack Bauer ties a man to a chair, pours water on his head and fashions a tazer out of a lamp cord. (If it were an HBO show he would be using the tazer on his balls.) Jack Bauer elbows a guy in the head and zip-ties his hands behind his back and pulls out his pocket knife. Does he pull out the knife to only threaten? Threaten and act. If the man doesn't talk, his eye is coming out. Good thing most people have two.

For the panty-wastes that read this and still find themselves not understanding the need to treat criminals like the scum of the earth that they are, let me give an analogy.

Your daughter was kidnapped. A person that was involved in the kidnapping was captured and arrested. This is not the person who has your daughter but he does know where she is being kept. He also has information about the other assailants and their weaknesses. With standard questioning he decides to stay silent despite the threats of prison time.

If you (the father or mother) had this man in a room and exhausted your methods of interrogation; what then? Do you turn him over to the authorities and let him disappear in the legal system or do you pull out a knife and hold it to his nut sack? If your answer is the yes to the first question, you are a pussy and should not be in legal guardianship of any child.

This is where the invention of the saying "Bauer-up" will come in handy. To the Obama administration who will allow known terrorists be tried on American soil...Bauer-up! To those of you who think fighting a war on terror is unnecessary, Bauer-up! To all of you who think wars like the War on Terror can be won by peace talks and negotiations, for fuck sake! BAUER-UP!

-Man-up Manny